i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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