I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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