Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
