Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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