Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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