tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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