So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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