at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
