You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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