Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
bring money and cleavage
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
