I CAN MOONWALK!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
