Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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