You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
