If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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