Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I checked into jail on foursquare
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
