Are we in a gay sports bar?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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