I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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