I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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