Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
