therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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