i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My cat gives me a boner
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
