i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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