I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
