I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
