Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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