The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
