No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
