bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
