I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize