At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize