cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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