His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
