He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
