I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I think I just shit out all my problems.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
