Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
