I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
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