Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
