he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
