I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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