I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
