no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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