sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
