Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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