Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
