I'm sorry my penis didn't work
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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