i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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