watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
