And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
