I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
