first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My feet surprised me
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