He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
