So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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