Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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