Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
