I need help removing her.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
nutella sex= disaster
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
