About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
