i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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