Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
