I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
