she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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