I love black thongs
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
