i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
