If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
