what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
