we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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