I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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