Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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