bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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