I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
