The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
