Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
