his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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