Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
