I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
